The 5-year-old who lives in my head: WAAAAH! You didn’t feed me ALL DAY!!! I’m starving!!
Me: I’m sorry. This day didn’t go anything like it was supposed to. Let’s make dinner now.
5yo: WAAAAH!!!! I’m too hungry for cooking!! Let’s eat the leftover Girl Scout cookies!
Me: You know that isn’t going to happen. Let’s see what we have in the fridge.
5yo: There’s heavy cream, and butter, and a great Amish raw milk cheese. Let’s make cheese sauce!
Me: And put it over…what?
5yo: What do you mean?
Me: It’s sauce. It has to go over something.
5yo: I’m not getting you.
Me: Are you suggesting that we just eat cheese sauce all by itself out of the pot?!
5yo: Oh my god, if you’re gonna be that way about it, just make it thinner and call it soup!
5yo: Oh, fine! What’s your idea?
Me: We have all these wonderful greens that we got at the market the other day….
5yo: Salad?! You can’t be serious! I’m hungry!!!
Me: Well, I can saute up some onions and red bell peppers and mushrooms.
Me: Okay, and some grilled steak sliced thin. Oh, and I have some avocado.
5yo: A WHOLE red pepper! A WHOLE avocado!!
Me: That’s a lot of–
5yo: Whole! Whole whole WHOLE!!!!
And that is why I am currently eating a salad the size of my head. It’s actually very tasty, and the 5-year-old is quieting down.
And it’s certainly healthier than a pot of cheese sauce.