We began this year with a new food plan: paleo. ish.
This is precipitated by the discovery that I am either gluten intolerant, allergic to wheat, or both. Said discovery was made when I gave up gluten for a week just to prove to my personal trainer that she was wrong when she said that it was causing my joint pain.
My joints stopped hurting. Then I ate gluten for a few days. My joints started hurting again.
“Fine,” I thought. “Just on special occasions,” I thought.
Christmas Eve, I ate a cookie. And broke out into an itchy rash.
Yes, dear reader, scroll back through my entries and feast your eyes upon the many beautiful breads I baked in the past! It was kind of my thing. But I can regear, I suppose, for learning to bake without gluten. It may be a whole new set of adventures.
But not right now. Right now, I’m doing a kind of elimination diet: no dairy, no soy, no grains of any kind. One month of eating like a caveman.
But only if that caveman’s meals are being cooked by Wilma Flintstone. Because no actual cave people had access to a grocery store and the wonders of modern innovation. My meals contain things like tapioca flour, almond flour, arrowroot flour. Coconut milk and almond milk. Chia seeds and cacao nibs. My veggies are shipped from mild climes, so that I can eat green and leafy things in the dead of winter, instead of subsisting on meat and root vegetables alone. I chase no woolie mammoths–heck, at this point, I don’t even have to track down a grocery cart; I fill out an order online and drive up to the supermarket, where cheerful young people load my food into my car for me!
And when I get home? I have clever devices that render zucchinis into a substitute for noodles and cauliflower into a substitute for rice. Machines that take disparate ingredients and render them into smooth sauces. I don’t face day after day of meat and plain veggies; hundreds of clever people have come up with thousands of recipes that tempt my taste buds.
So I find the word, “paleo” more than a little ridiculous. But I’m super grateful that so many have gone before me, making this healthy eating more bearable.
A few small things that I have found:
- The kitchen appliances that languished on my counters for years are now getting a serious workout. There are days when the food processor and the blender have to be hand washed for use in a second meal.
- My dishwasher is also getting more of a workout. It used to be that I ran it maybe twice a week. Now it’s pretty much daily.
- I planned a month of meals and made up the shopping lists at the end of December, and knowing what we’re going to eat every day, plus being able to really shop only once a week, has made life so much easier. I don’t feel like cooking is a chore; it’s an adventure.
- A number of these recipes have made me nervous, but almost everything has been tasty.
- On the third and fourth days, I felt like I would kill someone for a glass of milk. That’s diminished considerably. I’m not hungry, but there are occasional cravings.
Ferrett has committed to hanging in there with me. I think we are both feeling better because of this. Now excuse me while I go fix a bronto burger.